Dear Brittney,

I just found your diary blog and read it. I hope that's okay--it actually made me really happy, since we haven't been able to talk in a long time. I feel a little more caught up ;)

I haven't heard you sound so happy and so calm at the same time in a while. It sounds like you found the ground and the sky at the same time. Isn't it amazing that you can have both? Isn't it amazing that you can have everything? You really can. I know you think I'm biased, but I've lived through a lot of friends, acquaintances, and family members, and you're one of the best people I've ever known.

About everything you were saying about love and relationships: the most important one thing I could ever say is that love IS a CHOICE. There is attraction and compatibility and everything, but you choose to change and adapt. You choose what makes you happy, including what people make you happy. Lol I actually had a dream last night that I got engaged to one of those OBNOXIOUS boys from high school. I remember sighing and thinking, "At least it's better than being alone." Then I woke up, and there were Mike's broad shoulders. I can't even tell you how relieved I felt. It really isn't worth settling. You need type one and a half, and you have to wait for it. Because it exists :) And I think I have a decent idea of what types one and two are for you, and I can't see you with either. One and a half!

And don't worry about boys chasing you. Multiple boys chasing you just means you get to go on lots of fun dates. There's no need to commit until you want to commit. If one of them keeps pressuring you, feel free to haul him over. There are replacements behind him :)

You've always talked a lot about change. It kind of reminds me of a quote by an author I like: "The simple absence of pain is the ultimate blessing; too bad only the affected appreciate it." We only notice what is currently bothering us. I would have given ANYTHING just for a calm stomach when I had the flu, but I haven't thought about how my stomach feels once since then. I can't remember the philosopher's name, but there's a pyramid, a hierarchy of needs: once a need is satisfied, you ignore it and reach for the next level. We always need and want more. It's hard to look and beneath you and realize how high you really are. I've been noticing the same thing recently too. Mike's family does a lot of things differently, and it's been kind of hard for me to try and adjust to everything. But I have Mike, and a free place to live, and a savings account, and food, family, love, school, a scholarship, so many blessings. You're so right, there's so much More than there Isn't. I love talking to you, you always remind me of that :)

Anyways, this was a lot of babble, there was a lot I wanted to respond to. The short and long of it: you are amazing, lovely, kind, and wonderful. I love you to death, and I want you to always love yourself as much as I love you :) except no death. Death is bad.

Love you!

Me